It all started with a question. Have you ever had ramen? The events following that answer changed someone’s life completely. Like, totally dude.
She was an average girl before it changed her. She went to school, laughed with friends, came home, and snacked on cereal and pizza (not together of course) while her eyes were glued to Judge Judy. But this girl always felt a bottomless void deep in the depths of her soul growing bigger and bigger. She tried to fill it with useless things- cats, ping-pong, Kentucky Fried Chicken- but nothing seemed to make her feel better.
But then came the day that changed this young girl’s life as she once knew it: the day her best friend Chupie the Chupacabra invited her to go out to eat dinner (wink-wink). Free that evening, the girl agreed since she was extremely hungry, not having eaten anything in the past hour. She assumed they would dine at a local restaurant, like Sharky’s or Sam’s Fire Grill (which served very tasty schwarma by the way). However, Chupie surprised her when he posed the question to eat a bowl of Japanese noodles. She had never heard the name of the dish before. Shocked by his friend’s ignorance, Chupie asked in anguish, “Have you ever had ramen?” As she responded with a shake of the head, Chupie instantly grabbed her icy-cold, stubby hand with his warm, hairy goat-stained hand and rushed her over to the nearest ramen house. “Why can’t we just eat schwarma?!?!” the girl annoyingly asked as they plopped down at the dimly-lit table and chowed down on appetizers of pork dumplings and vegetable tempura. When the steaming bowls finally arrived to their table and landed in front of them, she was at first taken aback by how delicious the ramen looked, but tried her best to conceal her excitement from Chupie. When they proceeded to greedily slurp the long noodles, the void that had once tormented her with its wide gap of nothingness was suddenly and completely filled to the brim, similar to the bubbling shoyu soup in the porcelain bowl.
From then on, she never again doubted the beauty of ramen. She occasionally chowed down on burritos and plates of schwarma, however nothing compared to the joyous experience when she vacuumed up the ramen noodles. Her life improved drastically, and she went on to bigger and better things centered solely around ramen.
Ten years later, this young girl, after eating thousands of bowls of ramen everyday of her life, after gaining hundreds of pounds and becoming spherical, and after aspiring to the greatest level of ramen eaters, transformed from an ordinary layperson into the beautiful, captivating, Ramen Queen. When the world was thrown into turmoil and was suffering immensely, the Ramen Queen declared to all citizens of Earth her strong desire: “I WANT TO BECOME DICTATOR!” Everyone, to the Ramen Queen’s surprise, let her become dictator of the world. The Ramen Queen then had everyone eat bowls of ramen, and the problems that once proved to be a conundrum for the world were solved and the Earth became peaceful once and for all.
Later, the Ramen Queen literally became The Universe, and ate lots of ramen. YAY!! THE END
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