??????

“I’m sorry!” The victim cried as Professor Parmesan pulled the lever. The victim was the unlucky man who just happened to eat the last of the cheese the professor was going to use to make his grilled cheese sandwiches. See here, Parmesan only ate grilled cheeses during the summer when the weather was humid and the air sticky. It was vital he ate one before the day cooled off into heavy-aired nights, or else he might die.  

Of course, the professor could have easily gone to the store and buy another pack of Kraft Singles, but that would have been too good. He was a bad guy and, as a bad guy, he must do everything as diabolically as possible.

The table the victim was strapped to moved, pushing him towards his fate. Through the thick tears welling around the edges of his eyes, the victim saw the instrument of his death: a large silver cone with small blades protruding from the edges.

Professor Parmesan laughed. “Have a ‘grate’ summer!”

Bismarck